


More Sinned Against than Sinning

by Rogue_Bard



Category: October Daye Series - Seanan McGuire
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 06:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rogue_Bard/pseuds/Rogue_Bard
Summary: Even after Toby saved Silences, there were plenty of things left broken, and it would take more than a change in ruler to put them back together.





	More Sinned Against than Sinning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ernads](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ernads/gifts).



_Close pent-up guilts,_   
_Rive your concealing continents, and cry_   
_These dreadful summoners grace. I am a man_   
_More sinn'd against than sinning._

**_-King Lear_ **

Marlis stood on the sidewalk, looking from the piece of paper in her hand to the tidy, well-appointed house speculatively. The address was correct, and the house featured a side gate under an arbor, just as the instructions she received had said it would. Taking a deep breath, she walked up the path of smooth slate stepping stones and unlatched the gate. A concrete walkway led her around the side of the house and to a small covered porch which held a few large lavender and rosemary plants in pots. Off of the porch was a door with a keypad lock. The code Marlis had been given made the light turn green, and the lock clicked open.

The waiting area inside had a door leading off from each side, and held two chairs and a small table with a selection of teas and some sort of electric machine that probably heated water, though it looked much more complex than a simple kettle. Marlis was about to sit in one of the chairs when the door to the left opened, and a tall woman with short-clipped silvery blonde hair stood in the doorway, smiling.

“Hello Marlis. I’m Lauren, it’s lovely to meet you. Would you like some tea before we get settled?” Lauren’s voice was calm and melodic, like water meandering over river rocks.

“No, that’s fine.” Marlis said quickly. The last thing she needed was to stumble through use of the water heater. Instead, upon seeing the gentle curve of Lauren’s ears and the sharpness in her eyes, Marlis dropped her own human disguise as well. Lauren simply nodded, turning and heading into the room behind her and leaving the door open for Marlis to follow.

* * *

 

_“You don’t owe me anything Marly, I wish you’d stop with all this.” Walther said, sounding exasperated._

_It felt so good to finally have him back. The strangeness of his returning as a brother and not a sister had been short lived; if Marlis was honest, she’d always expected something of the sort. And no matter what he called himself, he was still her obnoxiously stubborn younger sibling, so some things never changed._

_“You saved me, Walther! You and Sir Daye saved us all while I did nothing, and I was the seneschal! My people, my responsibility.” Why couldn’t she make him understand?_

_“What do you mean ‘was’? Don’t tell me Aunt Siwan found someone else?” Walther asked, momentarily derailing her._

_“No, she hasn’t. But she should. I don’t deserve any sort of honor or responsibility. After everything I’ve done… Our mother, Walther! How can you not hate me?” Marlis said desperately._

_Walther took a step forward, and Marlis braced herself. Had he finally seen reason? Was he finally going to punish her as she deserved? She owed him such a debt, he could ask for anything._

_But rather than striking her, Walther simply pulled his sister into a hug._

_“Marly, you did that best you could. I love you, our whole family loves you. We know you did everything you could, you were strong for so long. No, stop,” he said as she started to speak again. He took her shoulders and held her, making her look at him as he spoke. “It was easy for me. I left, I didn’t have to see what he was doing. Everyone else was asleep. And maybe he took pieces from them, but at least he didn’t force anyone else to hand him the pieces themselves, and be glad of it! Sweet Oberon, Marly. You are so strong, to have survived that. But he’s taken enough from you. Don’t try to give other people more.”_

_Marlis’ lip trembled, and she looked away. What he was saying didn’t make sense. She had let their family down, she had hurt them. She needed to be punished for that._

_Walther sighed. “You really want to owe me a debt?” Marlis looked up in surprise._

_“Yes, Walther, anything, please,” she said eagerly. Did he finally understand?_

_Walther took a piece of paper from his vest, unfolding it. It bore a list of names and numbers._

_“All of these people know about Faerie, they’re mostly Changelings of some stripe that live primarily in the mortal world. Look into them, find someone you like. And then go talk to them, as often as they say you need to come. Do that for a year and a day, and you won’t owe me anymore.” He held the paper out to her, and Marlis took it, her face clouded in confusion._

_“But if they’re in the mortal world they won’t have been involved in court. Which is for the best, if they’re Changelings, but it means they won’t know-”_

_“They’re therapists, Marly. They’ll know what you tell them.” She started to protest, and again Walther cut her off. “You need to talk to someone. Someone you don’t feel you owe, or feel guilty about failing. Do this for me, Marly. Please?”_

_And how could she say no to that?_

* * *

 

“So how do we start this?” Marlis asked, having perched on the edge of the small couch across from Lauren’s wing-back chair. It had been clear walking in that this was where she was meant to sit, though she almost wished she had had a chair as well. It was difficult to hide against the sides of a sofa, as all of her instincts were shouting at her to do.

“Why don’t you tell me why you’re here?” Lauren asked.

“My brother made me.” Marlis answered instantly, before realizing how childish that sounded.

“And why should he be able to make you do anything?” Lauren prompted.

“Because I owe him. Because he saved us when I couldn’t. And I hurt everyone in my family, but they won’t hate me, and I don’t understand why.” By the time she finished Marlis’ voice was barely a whisper.

“It sounds like he and the rest of your family don’t think it was your fault. Why do you think that is?” Was this woman really just here to ask prompting questions? How did this help anything?

“They think it was all the potions. But if I was the one brewing them, that can’t really be true, can it? I was conscious enough for that. I should have been able to fight,” Marlis said bitterly.

“Did you brew the first potion?” Lauren asked. Marlis shook her head. “Why don’t you tell me about that one?”

* * *

 

_Marlis stood in the throne room, in front of the dais. Her_ aunt’s _dais, it would always be her aunt’s, not that usurper’s. Silences would never bow to his whims. She stood in a line with the other surviving nobles and notables, all shackled in iron-banded chains. The usurper stepped down from the dais and walked down the line, offering each of them a chance to bow to him and swear loyalty._

_Some who refused were slain on the spot. A few deemed too politically valuable were stabbed with arrows glittering with elf-shot, but most simply fell for the Night Haunts. This close to the end of a war, who would be able to say that they hadn’t been battle casualties, not violations of Oberon’s Law?_

_As he came closer, Marlis could only silently thank every power she knew that Truney had gotten out. At least she would be safe._

_More than Marlis would have expected bowed to him. After seeing the first of their fellows fall in a pool of blood, Marlis shouldn’t have blamed them, but she did. Her aunt was queen, but they had all agreed on this, all agreed to stand against the destruction of King Gilad’s legacy and the mistreatment of the most vulnerable in their community. Were the opinions of their court so easily swayed?_

_Lord Oster, chained next to her, was being questioned now. He stood his ground, as Marlis had known he would. He had always been loyal to Aunt Siwan. Their people were loyal to them, and in return the family protected them. But there was no protection to be had now. Lord Oster fell beside Marlis, gasping for a few moments before his breathing stopped entirely._

_“And you,” the usurper said, putting a hand under her chin and forcing her to look up from the body on the floor. “One of the Davies alchemists, is that right?” This last he asked of the clerk following along behind him. The clerk was young, he’d only been one of the apprentices before the war started. Now, with so few of the staff left, he found himself elevated. Some would have been greedy for the power, but the young man simply looked terrified, standing between two of the soldiers left by the Queen of the Mists after her victorious departure._

_“Yes y-your majesty.” He said, not looking up from the list he was keeping. The usurper tightened his grip on her jaw, bringing Marlis’ attention back to him._

_“It’s said that your family are the best alchemists in all the Westlands. Which would make you the best now, wouldn’t it? At least as long as the rest of them lie sleeping?” The look of calculation in his eyes sent a chill through her. “Kneel, swear to me, and you’ll have the best alchemical lab on the continent.”_

_Marlis gave a short, sharp laugh. “You think I would betray my entire family for a lab?”_

_“A lab is certainly better than a coffin or a bier, wouldn’t you say?”_

_Marlis stared past him, refusing to look at the man’s face. Any moment now, she would be joining the others on the floor, and she would not let the last thing she saw be his face. The man snapped his fingers and another pair of soldiers moved, forcing her to her knees in a puddle of Lord Oster’s blood, which immediately started soaking through her dress._

_“We can do this nicely or not, but your services will be required.” Marlis looked at him in alarm. He had produced a vial from somewhere, and with one smooth motion he uncorked it. A sharp scent rose from it, one that Marlis recognized instantly. She began to struggle wildly, uncaring of how the iron burned her wrists when she didn’t hold herself still to avoid the bands. The soldier’s grips were unwavering. One of them brought up a hand to force her mouth open, so that the usurper could pour the contents of the vial down her throat and force her to swallow._

_The soldier held her chin up, making it impossible for Marlis to spit out part of the potion or try to make herself throw up. No! She wouldn’t let this happen, she would never let- let him-_

_Marlis went slack in the soldier’s hands, all fight gone from her. Her eyes took on a glassy sheen and she bowed her head._

_“How may I serve you, Your Majesty?” she asked, voice devoid of all emotion._

* * *

 

“Will this time next week work for you?” Lauren asked. It clearly wasn’t the only question, after the hour they’d just had, but it was the one she chose ask and Marlis was grateful for that.

“Yes. Yes, this will be fine. I’ll see you then.” Marlis said with a nodding half bow, before walking back out through the waiting area and along the garden path. Back on the driveway, she stopped to pull out the cell phone that was now a necessity of life, it seemed. Finding her brother in her contact list, she tapped out ‘ _One year, starting now._ ’ After hitting send, she considered a moment, then added ‘ _You were right, I think.’_

She set off down the sidewalk, and a few minutes later her phone chimed. ‘ _Hopefully in a year, you’ll know for sure.’_ The message read. It was shortly followed by a second _. ‘I’m proud of you._ ’ Smiling softly, Marlis continued on the short walk home.


End file.
